Saturday, June 25, 2011

First Love #GBE2

for this weeks GBE2.
First Love

When I was in junior high, (that’s what they used to call Middle School) I was left alone to live with my dad. Which, being the seventies, meant I was pretty much left to raise myself. This was for my seventh, eighth and ninth grades. The only time a boy came to the door, ready to ask if I could play, my dad made sure he scared him into never coming back again. That guy was just a friend! Then when the real boyfriend came along, he just snuck in the back yard to my window. Heh heh.

But during this time, my dad made sure I got my 3 meals daily. But that didn't mean he cooked them. Especially breakfast. Before the divorce, he would make pancakes and bacon every Saturday. The smell of bacon is a memory of before i didn’t know we weren’t intact. Anyway, we would go to my grandma’s house for breakfast, before he would drop me off at school. Or we would eat at the Longhouse. That set the stage.

In high school, my friends and I would meet at a little place that reminded me of that Longhouse. in Seacliff. The fun of hanging with your friends before school ordering bacon, eggs and hash browns, and slathering jelly on toast is just a really cool way to start the day.

This love caught fire when I discovered “brunch”. That’s when it blossomed from a puppy love to an infatuation. Eggs Benedict awakened senses I was previously unaware I had. The hollandaise made me feel all giddy and the Italian bacon, muffins, fresh fruit, coffee. Real butter. joy!

Zachary’s made the BEST buttermilk muffins and they’d let me custom order my plate. Eggs scrambled with spinach, mushrooms and swiss. The orange juice was fresh squeezed too. The great coffee, long time staff and mix of college students and oddball locals only added to the experience. See why I don’t believe in cereal for breakfast? lol
I’m older now and we’ve settled into a comfortable routine. The greasy spoon type cheap coffee and fake-butter places on the weekends. (Pilot Butte Drive-In is a longtime favorite. They put the most yummy gravy on the hash browns.. don’t worry, i get it on the side lol).

The fancy Mimosa type places for Mother’s Day or my birthday. Or when I want to feel special. McKay cottage today was an outdoor seating delight with the fresh fruit side dish as overflowing with berries as the coffee carafe was offered to be refilled. Tried a non-traditional Benedict that had bacon and spinach and red peppers too. It was delightful. Look:
I hope you enjoyed this journey with my first love: going out to breakfast!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

I Control it ALL #GBE2

This is my entry to this weeks #GBE2, the topic is "CONTROL". thanks to Elizabeth Grace!

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

What is in our control? A lot more than people think. The
whole creating your own reality concept, blows right past most people. They
think control equals security equals be married have kids own a house go to
work earn a paycheck pay bills take some vacations pay taxes then die.

I have a lot of issues around control, controlling people, and
self-control. This topic made me think of a lot of directions to go in with
this blog. I have an issue with controlling my appetites, from rich and sweet
foods, to sex-with-the-ex, i’m pretty self indulgent. I have issues around
self-control with my mouth. I was an unfiltered blurter for a while lol.

i’ve been working on for about the last 20 years and have it pretty much in
control. That was a long road. I have issues with attracting controlling mates.
Nuff said. I had a really hard time controlling my son when he was 3 & his
dad & me broke up. How difficult that was to regain that control. Now that
he is 16 i have less control over him once again.

There are others who I wanted
to recommend they control their children instead of neglecting them.

But i like the creating your own reality story better. To me,
what is in my control is my faith, my belief system, that no matter the outer turmoil,
my inner world is at peace. Even though outwardly, i don’t have anything i
should at my age. No husband, no house i own, no IRA, no college fund for my
kid. Those things would be nice, as would health insurance, savings, and the
ability to repay my student loans. But those are outward things. I have not
lost a minute sleep over them.

I have an uncanny ability to focus on the positive that creates for me a universal safety net that softly catches me when i fuck up. some call it karma that i fall at all, i call it karma that i land softly. I land on my feet. “like a cat thrown out a window” as my mom said yesterday to
me lol.

I love my apartment, i have no cable but i have my DVD collection, my
Blockbuster card, the radio. I love music and it’s ability to uplift. I have the
ability to block, unfriend or otherwise evict toxic people from my life. I have
likewise the knack to attract positive, good people around me. Like you!

"Ambitious people force their will on others,
But content people are already wealthy."

~Lao Tzu

Thanks for reading!


Sunday, June 5, 2011

#GBE2 Lost & Found: Outcasts Welcome

Lost & Found is the story of my life. Acceptance. Happiness, self esteem, custody, streams of income. Being loved. Feeling depressed. My voice. joy. Friends. Lovers. All Lost & Found or Found & Lost. Nothing is permanent except change.

The false belief that “it”, whatever it is, is never coming back, is a trick we play on ourselves. It’s “lost” to us. But miscellaneous emotions and people “magically” reappear in our lives when we least expect it. Thanks to facebook, this happens a lot.

The young kimi was very lost; in my youth i was a hot mess. I didn’t and still don’t have a clue where I’m going, but I’m no longer lost. Tolkien & me, we know things. “all who wander are not lost”. Found isn’t the right word for me either, sounds too religulous. Found is a penny from heaven. Found is a shiny old friend.

Remember the island of misfit toys? on Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? That really struck me. Those poor toys, just because they were a little flawed, would never be loved by a child. That was so sad. I could relate a lot to how they felt, but they at least had eachother. That emotion of outcast, exclusion, rejection... stuck with me.

The Outsiders was another example that rang my bell. Those kids had my heart. Always had a soft spot for the wrong side of the tracks boys.

Back to Lost & Found. Misfit Toys. Forgotten items. These appear, what was once in our life, a ring, car keys, a husband, they reappear as if by magic. Like a moon appearing from behind a cloud. It’s back. Surprising you but not really because, hey it was yours to begin with, at least you’d spend time together to get to “claim” it or them as yours at the Lost & Found. I was a child lost at the Fair and my mexican grandma came & got me at the "Lost & Found". Or a cousin. I can't remember. I do know my white grandma & grandpa married each other twice.

I like to think they’ve just returned from a long journey where perhaps they weren’t lost, but were learning how life sucks without the other in it. So they come back. The sock, the keys, the old friend or crush. & You become their Found. They come home.

enjoy these facebook reuinion moments: