Monday, May 30, 2011

Success: Welcome to Fantasy Island GBE2

"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way". ~Christopher Morley

Ha ha on this subject his week of “success” i despise that word really do. Thanks to my childhood i’ve been reverse brainwashed to fear and push away traditional success. Success scares me

Thanks to watching my child hood idols die one by one I took it to mean don’t reach too high, don’t ring the bell with a message so timely, they will take you out.

There was also a fantasy element around “success” that permeated the media during my childhood

(have you been on a cruise yet? me neither!)

It was supposed to be unattainable. We are not going to inherit oil wells or be adopted by a rich single white man. No! lol Well, no wonder I had the idea that “success” was for texas millionaires and such, not little old people from Gilroy.

I saw my family like this:

And we were so obsessed with success, my dad even bought us a Cement Pond. For a Mexican, this was big-time. he'd married a white woman, owned a 7-11 & had a built-in pool. He was the epitime of success. He owned a porche, sent his kids to private school.

But we still fell to divorce, and our family was a statistic. He never recovered financially or emotionally, from losing all his "success".

So for me, I retrained myself to take the little winnings, the small moments and make them my success. For me, success is living with integrity. Being Real. Having a cup of good coffee. Having good communication with my son. Treating others how I want to be treated. Sleeping in. To my son it's landing a kick flip or pulling off a rail slide in a contest.

I was 27 when Nelson Mandela took office. That was inspirational. How he turned that whole political prisonor thing to world leader. Can we say success?

I was 32 when Dano Plato died, and just last year Gary Colman died. That reminds me that to achieve Hollywood fame and millions, is not success. They didn’t achieve happiness or peace.

To me, today’s culture of “success” is still not really for me.

I would rather stay with my peeps then climb the ladder of success. I will only take it if i don't have to conform. I prefer the D List to the A List. Underachiever as it sounds

I still have goals and I will achieve them. But meanwhile...

Success can be turning on the radio at the BEGINNING of my favorite song.
Success can be fitting into my jeans again.
Success can be making it through another month of bills.
Success can be contributing a blog to the GBE2 and tweeting everyone else’s blog.

"Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong." Lao Tzu

patience, persistance, self mastery, & nonconformity; that's success to me.


Kimi~ aka fresh coffee lover.

Sunday, May 22, 2011


week 1, May 22, 2011 GBE2 hosted by the lovely and talented Elizabeth Grace.

This weeks topic; Expectations

· Self

Self expectations can be way too limiting. I expected to pass high school for example, and it took me another 25 years to get a college degree. I expect to be able to keep the job I got, or finish a class i started, and when things go south, i beat the hell outta myself. Tricky and limiting, these self expectations. At least i’m not a perfectionist. To line up your expectations and your self image is tricky. You want to always grow and also to accept yourself. those conflict to me.

· Others

I expect people not to hit me, and that’s about it. lol I guess i expect respect unless i've wronged you which hey, i'm not perfect, maybe in a past life or who knows. I know when you surpass when others expect of you, it often irritates the crud out of them. Which is fun. this happened when i lost almost all my fat. This irritated everyone around me. That bugged me but I won't let it next time. Same thing with making money. I made a ton breifly and oh, were my friends green. That was kind of shocking. lol next time, i'm going to hide it & play poor.


(get it? the tall poppy must be cut down to size)

  • Desire
expectations would be named desires in eastern philosophy. Desires are the source of human pain and disappointment. That’s kind of a negative view of desire, tho; I like to harness desire and utilize it. Don't want what you can't have; don't overdose on desire.

· Anticipation

to me expectation links to anticipation. I revel in anticipation almost too much. The journey is just so enjoyable. I almost hate to arrive anywhere lol

· Not attaching to outcomes

the problems arise when we paint a picture of how it should work out, and any deviation from our script is a failure. Not good

I keep an open abundance of possibilities, and never cling to just one too hard.

· Hope

expectation is like hope, it’s like a kid at Christmas. Expecting Santa to bring the goods, eat the cookies, & it all comes true.

· Certainty

Tony Robbins (google him) favors the idea of
certainty. This is better than hope according to him, because it cuts out the
options you don’t want. The one you do want, go with that. It doesn’t seem very zen but it works for me. I expected, with certainty, I would get a job before my unemployment and everything ran out. It just works out best for me when I leave myself no other options. I still am not attached to the exact outcome, I applied for every make and manner of job. I just needed one by May. Boom. Like that.